Comments on

Didn't they play the Patriot Center?

Original entry posted: Thu Jan 12 18:18:23 2006

pseudonymous @ Thu Jan 12 11:54:20 2006 EST

Penknife Stultification announced today that it has indeed parted ways with lead singer Truncates S. Utensil. The announcement comes as Rolling Stone's expose on the growing rift within the alt-metal band between Utensil and Penknife hits newstands tomorrow.

Said Utensil, "It's tragedy, you know? But it's how these things go."

In a statement released through its label, Stultification cited Utensil's insistence on speaking in rhyme as the last straw.

Responds Utensil, "I'm rhyming? I'm rhyming? You mean, like a Seuss? I'd dignify that, but really what's the use?"

Utensil went on to say that he had plans for a solo project. He's "a poet," he said, and he "know[s] it."

pseudonymous @ Thu Jan 12 11:59:40 2006 EST

I enjoy these bits from your spammers. They're great constrained writing exercises.

Thomas @ Thu Jan 12 12:37:50 2006 EST

Do you think Truncates is pronounced like the philosopher or the packing container in this usage?

pseudonymous @ Thu Jan 12 12:44:08 2006 EST

I imagine it might go this way...

Interviewer: So, Truncates...(rhymes with gates)

Truncates: That's Trun-KAH-Teez... Like Socrates.

Interviewer: Uh, sure.

Thomas @ Thu Jan 12 13:18:23 2006 EST

If only the spam community could be inspiring on a regular basis...

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