Thomas Wilburn's patented Scavenger Hunt Huevos
Toss the egg into a skillet on medium heat, scramble. Add one slice of cheese. Use a fork to whip these until a little fluffy. Add a handful of tortilla chips, crushing them up. Don't worry about the staleness--they're basically just going to be filler. Pour in salsa and black beans, reduce the heat, crush in another slice of cheese, and stir until the beans are soft. Add the fake hamburger last. It'll thaw quickly.
The end result will look, to be polite, like something the cat dragged in. Spice it with pepper, salt, cumin, and red pepper to taste. I have a weak sense of smell, so I season heavily. Entonces: one cheap pseudo-Mexican meal made from handy ingredients, perfect for when your vegetarian girlfriend is working late and you don't feel like going to the grocery store.