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March 15, 2006

Filed under: random»comedy_and_tragedy

I'm not so sure about this plan

Bumper sticker on a gold Toyota this morning:

Keep America beautiful
Import Lithuanians

March 5, 2006

Filed under: random»comedy_and_tragedy

The Communist Party Never Stops

February 15, 2006

Filed under: random»personal

Headhunting

"Hello?"

"Hi, may I speak to Thomas Williams?"

"Thomas Wilburn?"

"Williams."

"Wilburn?"

"May I speak to--yes, I'm sorry, Thomas Wilburn."

"You may. That's me."

"Great. Thomas, you were referred to us for an employment opportunity, is this a good time to talk to you about that?"

"...Well, I'm already employed, actually. What's the job?"

"It's for _______ Financial Services."

"Okay, thank you, no, I'm working for the World Bank and I'm really very happy there."

"So you're not even interested in part time?"

"No, I'm afraid not."

(pause)

"I'm sorry, did you say financial services?"

"Yes, ___________ Financial Services."

(pause)

"Do you mind if I ask who referred you to me?"

"Well... Thomas, are you familiar with how headhunting and these services work?"

"In this case, no, not particularly. That's why I'm curious."

"Oh. Well, it's a system of referrals and networking, basically."

(pause)

"See, that's odd, because I don't really have any financial skills at all, really."

"Do you have management skills?"

"No, not really."

"Do you have any experience training other people?"

"No. I'm a writer."

"A writer."

"Yes. I write things for a living."

"Oh."

(terribly confused pause)

"Anyway, I already have a job, so I'm not interested. Thank you though. Goodbye."

How bizarre.

February 14, 2006

Filed under: random»personal»events»holidays

Science Vs. Romance

About a year ago, I was hanging out with my friend Tomoko in her campus apartment after work. A young man with an unrequited crush on her had also stopped by, and in order to ignore him she asked me about my love life. Specifically, what about this girl I'd mentioned the last time we'd talked? How was that going?

Great! I said. She's very sweet, very cute. You know, she's got the kind of smile, when she's really happy, that the whole room just lights up.

Aw, said Tomoko. And I was a little surprised, to be honest, because I hadn't meant it in a sappy or a metaphorical way. I really thought that everything got a little brighter for that grin. For a minute or so I considered buying a light meter so I could prove it. See! I would say. 15 lumens, easy! I don't need electricity to read at night, I'll just tell her a really funny joke, because my girlfriend is that cute. And of course, she still is.

Happy Valentine's Day, Belle. Thanks for being the light of my life.

January 22, 2006

Filed under: random»personal

Knocked. Out.

January 3, 2006

Filed under: random»personal

Federal Holiday Photo Backlog: It kinda dominates the room


My brother gave me a Coffin Case for Christmas.

January 1, 2006

Filed under: random»personal

Federal Holiday Photo Backlog: I think we can say it's a trend now


The Apple Blossom Mall in Winchester, Virginia, also known as the saddest mall in the world, now has a bubble tea stand. Previously, there was a stand selling confederate flag paraphernalia. Progress?

November 17, 2005

Filed under: random»linky

My Lobotomy

This story (listen to it here), about a lobotomy patient who goes looking for the story of his operation, is one of the most powerful, painful, and riveting things I have heard in a long time. I caught it on the way home today, and spent 10 minutes in the car to hear it finish. This kind of reporting is the reason that NPR is a national treasure.

November 11, 2005

Filed under: random»personal»events

Our birthdays are better than your birthdays

In a blatant attempt to move Chris Crawford down the page so it's not contantly staring me in the face, here is a new snapshot of Four String Riot Studios:

The new bass, a present to myself, is on the left. Hopefully from this picture you can see how much smaller it is than the All Star--being headless and modeled on Ned Steinberger's designs, it's significantly shorter, lighter, and less bulky--although these are not always good things. I think I'll have more to say about it later. The amp behind both basses is my actual performance rig, a GK 400RB-IV. You can also see my harmonicas in the lower left-hand corner. I really need to figure out how to integrate them into the Riot.

Showing that she knows me all too well, Belle gave me a subscription to Bass Player. I would have never worked up the initiative on my own. With so much celebratory cheer floating around, we picked up her birthday present a bit early.

Puppies, my dear! Puppies!

October 8, 2005

Filed under: random»personal»events»holidays

The Great Pumpkin meets his match

"...and the Great Pumpkin will rise up out of his pumpkin patch with his bag of toys for all the good children!"

"ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!"

Future - Present - Past